Praise in the Storm

We are having revival this week at church and the evangelist talked about the difference in faith and trust (more on that in another post), and they sang a song that the daughter and my dear friend , Sandy, wrote, and its called "I'm Not Afraid to Trust Him." I fell in love with this song, but as they haven't recorded it yet, I can't share it with you.  But one that is very similar and I have always loved is Casting Crowns "Praise You in the Storm."  It really goes along with the trust no matter what, because if we don't trust God in the storm, we sure can't praise Him in the storm.  

I hope that no matter if you are in a storm or you see clear skies, you praise Him.

Also have a great Tuesday!

Remembering the Refuge

Psalm 46:1

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

David said this while he was going through trials.  He said it with no question, that God IS our refuge, not that He might be sometimes, but He is ALWAYS our refuge.

So many times we forget what a refuge we have, I know I do. I tend to worry about things I can't change or do anything about and if I would just go hide under the refuge and leave my worry outside, I would be so much better off.  God wants us to use Him as a refuge and so many times we don't go to the one place where we can find help.

I am guilty of coming to Him as a last resort, when I really know if I would take it to Him first, I wouldn't end up hurt or frustrated or angry with whatever situation it is. I am really trying to live under the refuge and look to Him for help at the first sign of trouble.

People often don't have a problem standing in line for a meal, or a sale at a store, but they often won't go to the place to get the help they need spiritually. They also act embarrassed by the fact that they need help, when it really is as natural as filling the car up with gas. Life drains us, and we need to run to the refuge to recharge.

Remember who is your refuge and have a great Monday!

Unfailing Love

One thing Remains by Jesus Culture

I have had my Pandora playing the last few days, especially when I am at work, and I caught myself singing along to this song.  All of a sudden I felt like the words just slapped me in the face.  The chorus is all about how God's love never fails and never gives up on us no matter what we do to fail Him.  Lately, I have felt so unworthy of His love, but that really makes me appreciate it that much more!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Tuesday!

Singleness

This post is just some raw feelings. I actually wrote it a couple days ago and still feel this way today, but over the weekend I realized that I am blessed even though I am single.  I don't feel as depressed as this sounds like I did, but I am sure that will come back. But for the time being, I am trying to focus on the positive and just trust God and praise Him for the blessings I do have.


I long for a husband.  I find myself lonely a lot these days wishing I had that mate whom I could spend the rest of my days with.  I realize I am supposed to trust God and wait in Him but that is so hard.  I told myself I would not look for another guy to try to fix the hurt that came from someone close to me who I never thought would hurt me, but since I told myself that I have had two former relationships (however brief they were) get in contact with me. While nothing serious has happened from these talks, it still reminds me that I am lonely. I also wonder if it is a trick to get my mind off of God to try to pursue either of these guys. There has got to be someone special out there for me, who will treat me different than previous relationships. I want to be able to trust my heart with someone and have him trust me the same way and merge our live together and serve the Lord together.

I feel like I am being punished for doing the right thing while those around me get to be happy because they were dishonest and willing to hurt others to be together. Everyone has been telling me I need to get married and they just don't understand that I haven't found the right one yet.  I thought I knew who it was and then he hurt me, and I then I thought I found him again, but I have never met him in person just on Facebook and while I admire him and his work I just don't see how that could work since he lives across the state (but stranger things have happened. my brother met his wife in Oklahoma.) and I know I tend to rush God and that gets me in trouble, but I have to be the worst in the world at waiting.

I get told all the time that I am beautiful and pretty (and I have a pretty decent self esteem but it is still nice to hear), but it seems like the only guys that are interested in me, are only interested in sleeping with me, and I have decided that I deserve so much more than to just get used physically. and then sometimes I think, if I did let myself then at least I would be with someone.

I have always wanted to adopt but I always wanted to do it with someone and build a family. I always wanted someone to even out my weaknesses with their strengths and  the other way around. I know there are perks to being to single, but right now all I see is the loneliness. I am at that stage of life where everyone I went to school with , and all my friends are getting married and having kids and I want that too. I want someone to share holidays with joint families.

The older I get the more I have a hard time waiting because I feel like my age will keep me from getting married. I know in my head that it won't but I am in a culture when everyone gets married young because that is when we are physically at our best. My parents also married young and I always thought I would too. Now I am seeing how wrong I was. I read a lot of blogs where most of them are wives and moms and most of them are my age or younger and that really doesn't help. I have heard over and over when the time is right God will send the right one along, but most of the time the people saying this are the ones who are already happily married and it really doesn't help that much.  I started this blog to try to help single women like me, but I don't see where I can help if I still have all of these feelings that it doesn't seem like I can control. Maybe it is just helping someone because I am going through this with them.

Update on Moving (or Lack of)

So I really wanted to get on here this morning and tell everyone what great progress I had made on packing my house and how I was ready to move in 11 days, but I got home and was so tired I sat down for a few minutes, then cleaned out a closet (some reason I am doing better with the closets right now), and went and got supper.

 After supper I got a text from a friend saying she was taking her baby girl to the ER because she was running a real high fever, and she asked me if I would come sit with her (to keep mommy calm, baby was great even though she didn't feel good). So I got in the car and went.

 We have been friends for ten years and have been there for each other through alot. She knows that I am a Christian, and what a great way to witness to her than with an act of love, by just being there.  She told me I was the only one she could call to come sit with her. We need to be on the lookout for opportunities to witness.  This wasn't really convenient for me, my friend and her baby are so much more important than packing "stuff."

 With this move, I will be alot closer to her and will get to babysit her two kids more often and see her more.  Turns out baby is fine. The fever could either be from an ongoing ear infection or from teething, but it was coming down as we were leaving.

Then I came home and talked to a different friend up until about 11 (which is really late for me now), and then he texted me first thing this morning.  Monday was not great, but it is turning out to be a really good week.
Hope everyone is having a great week! Happy Hump day!

                                        Here is the sweet girl a few weeks ago, feeling great!

As Far As the East is from the West

Casting Crowns sings this song and I absolutely love it!  It the perfect picture of grace and mercy. I love how Jesus "casts our sin as far as the East is from the West." and continues to love us and pick us up after we fail. I love the line in the first verse that says "I don't wan to end up where you found me." and then " I feel like I'm just one mistake away from you leaving me this way."  These two thoughts are continuously on my mind. I have done things I am not proud of, and will most likely do more, but Jesus died so our sin can be cast away and because He loved us.  And He does everything He can to keep us in His arms, but so many times we do things to separate ourselves from Him. I am so thankful He knows how far the east is from the west, but He chooses not to remember our forgiven sins.

Have a great Tuesday!

Being Held By Mercy

Psalm 94:17-18
17 Unless the Lord had been my help, my soul had almost dwelt in silence.
18 When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O Lord, held me up.

There have been many times I have felt like my soul was in silence. I feel lost and despondant and no one can help you out of that situation.  The only help I can get is from time and prayer with the Lord. Here lately I have had alot of stress and hurt, and I find myself wanting to get angry and bitter and when I do my soul will dwell in silence again.  I don't want this to happen at all. It's not a good place to be.

There have been many times I have slipped and failed God and others.  The only reason I am the person I am today is because of the mercy of  God.  When I feel myself falling, it's only His mercy that keeps me from completely crashing.  I have a picture in my head of someone falling over a cliff and the Lord catching me at just the last minute, so perfectly like it was in the movies or something.  It's Monday and nothing seems to be going right today and I feel like going back home to bed and shutting the world out, and today I need His mercy to hold me up. This past week dealing with things, I feel like I have messed everything up I go to do.  I feel alone because I am single and the people who hurt me are happy.  I feel like I am not worthy of mercy. None of us are worthy of mercy, which is exactly why we need it.  Yesterday, in church, I gave the hurt, anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness to God, and immediately felt His mercy surround me. I felt like I was being hugged tightly and it was healing my wounds from years ago to today.  I am not completely ok but I am healing.  I don't know what I would do without His mercy helping me.

Ok it's rainy and wet, which may be a little cause for the depressing note, but go have a cup of hot tea and read a good book and I am going to get to work.  Happy Monday everyone!