Tuesday, September 24, 2013

I Have Somebody With Me

We sang this hymn Sunday at church and it has kinda stuck with me.  I have been going (and honestly still am) through some really hard times lately with the possibility of losing my job through no fault of my own. And I actually woke up with this song on my mind this morning, and it hit me. Through all of my struggles and failures (because I have had a lot of those lately too), God is right beside me, loving me, even when I don't deserve it. I really don't feel like I deserve it right now, because I am trying to take everything into my own hands and fix it. I have been worrying and stressing and then turning to all the wrong sources of stress relief.  Last night, I worried myself until I was nauseous.  This in itself is a failure, because He says to cast your care upon Him.

Now the biggest of my troubles is my job and what would happen if I lost it, but it is not my only trouble.  I should be better off than I am with savings and things, but I have made some bad choices and I am not a money person, and I realize some of it is my fault, but I believe if I am actively trying to fix my mistakes and do better that God will help me.  Since I have had some warning of what might happen, I am looking for another full time job now. I am also looking to take on a part time job to help even if I don't lose my job.

Last night was not a good night, but this morning with that song on my mind I can calm down, look at things objectively and work on solving the problem. And I don't have to do this alone because "I have somebody with me all the way."

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