Bragging (just a little)

So for the most part this has been a horrendous week, at least it started out that way, but yesterday it got better.  I was volunteering at the school yesterday and then I had the chance to go see one of my wonderful students give a speech for the school. She was so nervous she could hardly talk on the way up there.  She personally asked me to go, and then asked to ride with me (made me feel so special that she wants me!)  We went to eat and she couldn't even eat! But this girl gave it her all and won 3rd for the area which included thirteen counties! I am so so so proud of her!

 Receiving her medal and money!

Her little sister!

A picture after to celebrate it being over!

Giving the wonderful speech

 Supper

Speech coach and personal friend!

I Have Decided to Follow

My church sang a song Sunday morning.  It is a very simple song but full of implications.  It was "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus."  This song has been on my mind since.  What does it mean to truly follow? AM I truly following Jesus? Do I want to turn back?

Following means that you will do whatever the person you are following does and tells you to do. Jesus loved others. Jesus did not complain. Jesus did not do or say things out of spite. Jesus prayed and immersed Himself in Scripture.  I say I follow Jesus but I have fallen short in all these areas and most of them just last week.  There are days I question God's plan for me. There are days all I do all day is grumble about something.  There are days I do not give Jesus a first thought much less a second thought.  Just typing that sentence makes me feel like a failure at being a Christian.  Jesus also has grace, which I am thankful for that He gives me, but there are days I don't show grace to others.  I hold the wrongs people has done to me against them.  So there are days I follow and there a days I fail.  I really need to be more consistent with following rather than failing.

The last of the song says no turning back.  There are days I want to turn back and not care what happens, but then I realize I am so much more happy following Jesus that I can't imagine myself turning back.  I see the lost of the world and how miserable they are even with all the money and possessions they could imagine.  I don't have much money compared to America's standards and I am  working on getting rid of things I do have, but I am truly happy following Jesus.

Have a great week!

Loneliness

I have times where I get so lonely its depressing.  Going to a sweetheart banquet alone sent me back into one of those times. It hit me so hard at the banquet I went into the bathroom and cried in the middle of it, and told someone later that I wished I hadn't even gone.  That feeling is still lingering, here at the end of Monday.  When I hit these times, I do two things: 1) I shut everyone out except a very select few, 2) I eat myself silly and I can guarantee you it is not healthy food I am gorging on.   On top of this, I am very stressed at work the last few weeks and I tend to do the same things when I am stressed, so combine the two and I am a basket case that gobbles chocolate!!!!

I have recognized the feeling before, but this is the first time I have recognized the behaviors that go with the feelings. So now that I have recognized, I have to do something to change it.  I feel better eating fruits and veggies, getting fresh air and exercise, writing my feelings out, and the most important immersing myself in Bible studies.

These things help me to see that I am valuable and there is a reason I am single. It also shows me that even though I am single, I am not alone. I have a God who has a plan for my life and takes excitement in planning my life and molding me to His plan. I also have a wonderful family who also wants the best for me.  I have friends who have stuck  by me in some of the toughest situations.  I have kids at the school begging me to come back and calling me just to tell me they miss me and love me.  I have widows who think I am the sweetest thing on the planet ( I have them really fooled! lol)  I have a pastor and pastor's wife who ask me weekly if not daily about my life and let me know that they are praying for me.

I may not be in a romantic relationship at the moment, but I know God is with me and has a plan for me.  Even if I don't know what it is at the moment (even if I have hopes), I trust Him with my life because every time I try to take over I completely mess it up!

God's Plans

I have found this to be true, especially lately.  It seems like everything has been falling apart lately, job, relationships, friendships, everything.  But I have watched doors open lately that I thought would never open back up.  My hours at my full time job has changed and I get to volunteer at the school again (not as much as I want but it is a definite improvement!)  I have gotten a part time job where I get to serve seniors and will carry me through if my full time job falls apart.  I have some friendships that have fallen apart but looking over the friendships I do have, they have lasted for years and these people have been with me through some hard times.  I have a wonderful family support. I am talking to a wonderful guy who I can't say enough good things about.  Just when everything was falling apart, everything came together almost perfectly, and it will be perfect when His plan is completely finished.

Hope you are having a wonderful Monday!

Tired and Restless

These last few weeks have been busy, but it is mostly work stuff that I am busy with.  My full time job makes me tired. Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually also.  I work just to make someone money, and I constantly see that money mishandled and wasted and I think of everything good for others I could do with that money.  I see people take the money I bring in and live high on the cares of life and come in miserable after that money is gone and they are stressed out because they have no money.

I am tired of seeing people hurting and I can't do anything to make the pain go away. I am tired of people deliberately hurting others. I am tired of people being wrapped up in their own lives they can't give anyone else the time of day.

But on the other hand, I am restless.  I have so many ideas on how to help people that I don't know where to start.  I am working on one project that could help people tremendously if it works out like I want it too.  I am restless to do God's Will in my life and give glory and praise to Him.  I am more restless to work and serve than I ever have been in my life.  Once I got that desire doors have just been opening up to where I can serve.  I now have a part time job where I will be helping seniors. I also have the chance to volunteer regularly at the private school again!  I am so  excited about getting to be a part of my kids lives again I just can't contain it.  I get to go to the nursing home tonight.

And yet, with these opportunities, it still doesn't seem like enough.  I am not sick and tired, just tired and restless.


Hope everyone has a great week and finds somewhere they can serve!

Refreshing

Today, so far, as well as the rest of this week, has been very blah.  You know what I am talking about.  That feeling that nothing is quite right.  You are drained and tired and nothing makes sense in your life any more.  That is the feeling I have had since Saturday night.

Well I am tired of that feeling. This very moment I am starting over.  I was reading a book yesterday on refreshing yourselves so you can be more of a service to others and that is exactly what I am doing.

This moment I am grabbing a cup of hot tea, going to focus on my work, and when work is done will work on some fun rewarding projects I have going on.  I am going to church tonight and refreshing my soul and going to spend the weekend with family.

I  am going to refresh so I can help others and quit feeling so negative because  we all know that won't help anybody.

Here is the book I was talking about.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

http://www.therefreshbook.com/

Encouraging Music

So this weekend, I have dealt with things that have broke my heart and I really have no words right now to describe the situation or how I am feeling. Since I have missed a couple of Tunesdays, I thought I would bring you a list of music that has helped encourage me today!

Petra - No Doubt

Casting Crowns - Praise You in This Storm

Mark Shultz  -  He Is,  Love Has Come

Selah -  Shelter Me,  He'll Hold You,  I Look to You,  You Deliver Me,  Be Thou Near to Me,

Nicole C. Mullen -  When You Call on Jesus

Mandissa -  Overcomer

Building 429 -  Fearless,  I Don't Belong

Tim Hughes -  Happy Day

Third Day -  I See Love, Cry Out to Jesus

Matthew West -  The Motions


Hope You have an encouraging Monday and if you are not then I hope this list will help you as well!!